Situation was domestic violence 18 months ago and there has been no direct contact since. Ex moved out of province 8 months ago.
There’s no house, cash savings etc. 2 kids but 1 is an adult and the other is 16, they want no contact either so not like there is custody issues. We were mostly both employed full time but I had the higher income. We have no joint bank accounts or credit cards. I have a locked in pension and RRSPs in my name. It’s not that much, probably between both $125k. We’d have had more in savings but a lot of money got spent by ex.
I don’t want to get remarried and so my feeling is that there’s little reason to seek divorce as it would just be an unnecessary expense. A family member said I should file now because even if I don’t want any child support (I don’t), if I wait past my child turning 18, my ex could then file demanding alimony. While I would like that feeling of being completely free talking about it gives me a lot of anxiety. My children and I suffer from PTSD after many years of domestic violence and abuse so I’m okay with the situation as is.
This may not be the best option though financially or legally. I have a hard time believing he’d get alimony as he’s a well educated person capable of work. He left with no debt and all his personal belongings (what I said about spending money, he had thousands of dollars of tools, various bits of equipment etc). I’m being advised to file now and offer to waive child support etc in exchange for no alimony and no claims to my pension/RRSP because no matter what I might have to spend now it will be cheaper than waiting to see what ex might do down the road. From past experience I think probably nothing but you never know.
It’s burying my head in the sand to just want to do nothing but wondering if there is a downside
Main Legal Issues:
Potential future claims for alimony from the ex-spouse.
Financial implications of not seeking a divorce.
Impact of PTSD on decision-making process.
Questions Answered:
Filing for divorce now, even if you do not want child support, can potentially protect you from future claims for alimony from your ex-spouse. Waiting until after your child turns 18 may expose you to such claims.
While it may seem unnecessary now, seeking a divorce could provide legal clarity and closure, especially in terms of financial matters.
Your ex-spouse's education and capability to work may impact the likelihood of them receiving alimony, but it's essential to consider all possibilities and protect your assets.
Potential Strategies:
File for Divorce with a Waiver Agreement: Consider filing for divorce now and offering a waiver of child support in exchange for a clear agreement on no alimony and no claims to your pension/RRSP. This can provide legal protection and certainty for the future.
Consult with a Family Law Attorney: Seek legal advice to understand the potential risks and benefits of filing for divorce now. An attorney can help you navigate the process and ensure your interests are protected.
Consider Mediation or Collaborative Divorce: If you are concerned about the emotional toll of divorce proceedings, explore alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation or collaborative divorce to reach a mutually agreeable settlement.
Things to Discuss with a Lawyer:
Legal Rights and Obligations: A lawyer can explain your legal rights and obligations, including potential financial implications of not seeking a divorce.
Protection of Assets: Discuss strategies to protect your pension, RRSPs, and other assets from potential claims by your ex-spouse in the future.
Impact of PTSD: Address how your PTSD may affect your decision-making process and explore ways to navigate the legal proceedings with sensitivity to your mental health.
Always consult with a lawyer.
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